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Our family would like to announce that we’re adding one more little one to our family, through the gift of adoption!

Our son, Elias Harley, is waiting for us in CHINA, and will hopefully come home late summer/early fall!

Chinese Proverb:
An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances.
The thread may stretch or tangle but will never break.
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There have been several questions asked along this journey.
Here’s a little Q&A for our friends and family, since adoption is new to most of our family!

1. Why are you adopting? We wanted one more child, and it’s much too hard to grow one ourselves. We’ve had it on the backburner for a few years, and it was almost an accident how quickly this all came about. We are about as surprised as you are!

2. Why China? Several reasons, but the most being it’s a dependable program, with fairly healthy children, and it’s straight forward. No more pregnancy rollercoasters. No waiting to be picked or dealing with the unknowns. Just do A, then B, (and C, D, E, F, G…) and then come get your child. It’s a “sure thing” in our world of unknowns and take-backs.

3. Wait, how did you get a BOY? And so quick?? The one-child policy in China has changed over the years, and families are not necessarily limited to one child anymore. However, adoption is quite socially-accepted in their culture. There is the traditional program where people are still waiting 4-6 years for a healthy “baby” who’s still almost a year old by the time they come home. These are mostly girls, and the Chinese adoption program most are familiar with. But there are a lot more kids with special needs (“SN”) that are looking for a loving family. A great number of these kids have SN that are resolved, minor, or medically-correctible. That’s the umbrella our son fell under. A small cyst on his back as an infant, a short surgery later, and we are told by medical professions that he is likely “perfect.” All evidence points towards that, but we’re prepared to help him with anything he may need as he grows! It’s important to respect that he is not defined by this, and really, in the grand scheme of things, it’s irrelevant. We don’t introduce each other as “This is Fred. He has high cholesterol.” and our son will be no exception.

4. What’s his story? Where’s he from? Well, we know shortly after his birth that his parent(s) were unable to care for him, and that he received awesome care, both at the SWI (social welfare institute in his province) and once he got out of the hospital he went to the awesome small group foster home he lives at now. We can only guess of the love his parents must have had for this sweet little baby, and the sacrifice to give him a better life. We may never learn more of his story, but if we do, it will be his story to tell. We know he’s from Henan, China. That’s in the northeast part of the country, somewhat near Beijing. (Minneapolis’s “Sister city!”) His chinese name means bright red star! He is TWO on May 20th, (making him year of the rabbit) and we’re told he’s funny, outgoing, and a very happy loving kid. From the videos and photos we have seen, that seems to be the case!

5. What now? When does he come home? The paperwork process was started late in 2012, and it takes 9-12 months from start to hugs. We suspect we’ll travel to get him some time in September. (give/take a month on either end) We’re just waiting on China to process all the 9,873 forms. Then we’ll pack our bags for about 2 weeks, We’ll meet him right away, and spend the rest of the time doing paperwork and government stuff. (and a little sight seeing!) Once we return home, we’ll lay low with him for a while, and help him adjust to the constant influx of barbies, sister kisses, and a mom and dad that love him so so much!

6. How do you and the girls feel? What does Ava know? What does she think of all this? Ironically, just as we were quietly starting this process, Ava saw the broadway show Annie! (twice) and had LOTS of questions about orphans, and growing up without parents. It was the perfect intro to what’s coming! Through the months we’ve been frugal with the details, mainly because she’s young and cannot handle the whole time frame concept, and also to protect her heart. She knows we’re looking for a little boy who needs a family, and that we might go to China someday to pick one up. She insists that we NOT get 14 of them, and that he doesn’t steal her toys. (we’ll comply with the 1st request) She will be an awesome “Jie Jie” as she’s already rocked that title out for her little sister. Both our siblings have trans-racial (Asian!) spouses/children, and Ava just happens to be enrolled in the Mandarin immersion program this fall, so his culture is already destined to be a part of our family. We’re nervous and scared, but mostly excited! (We’ll let you know when Ava gets full disclosure! I’ll be updating via FB and our [neglected] blog.)

7. I have a friend who would like more information – how can they learn more? Well, there’s no such phrase “just adopt.” This is a whole new world of unknowns, and rollercoaster rides, and it’s not for the faint of heart. That being said, if there’s a delicate way to approach the subject, and they are receptive to learning more, they are MORE than happy to contact us for some helpful links and they can take it (or not!) from there! The program is more affordable than we anticipated (and a generous tax credit that is FINALLY permanent) and we have found the process to be fairly easy and straight-forward. There are 2000+ children on the active adoption list in China, of ALL ages. He has many friends that are still waiting. You just have to LOVE doing paperwork and making copies ! And waiting. You have to be patient and wait, with a fabulous gift for your efforts!

We never knew that when we made a short “hoping to adopt” video of our family, years ago, that the “Red Thread” Chinese proverb would come full circle. But it appears we are just destined to meet this little boy!

We can hardly wait!